A few years ago, I was asked the question ‘How you could have been so brave as to change your life completely?’
This question really bothered me.
I didn’t feel like I had done anything brave. I tried to explain that the changes had developed, step by step. If I think about it, I think change has much more to do with trust than bravery – but maybe how you build up trust in life and yourself is the same way you build courage.
The answer is very simple. You need to step out of your comfort zone every day.
The reason why we stay in our comfort zone is fear.
We may stay in relationships which are not statisfying or healthy, we may continue in jobs we don’t like. We visit well-known holiday locations, eat the same things over and over, and meet the same people again and again. Most of the time, the familiar seems to be safer.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
If you want to grow and expand you need to step out of your comfort zone. I have never meet a happy person in life who is not doing that – consciously or unconsciously – on a regular basis.
To deal with a new situation naturally requires tools (emotional and know-how).
First, you need to be aware and know the real reason why you avoid challenges or change. Double-check your tool box – usually, you will already have the tools to manage a new situation. If not, you can just postpone and continue to train to prepare yourself. But you need to train every day to increase your confidence and your know-how. Growth and development can never happen inside your comfort zone, so here’s how you can move beyond it.
3 easy steps to get brave:
You body and brain love change. Start small, and build up gradually. Eat something new, talk to a stranger, choose a new route to work. Maybe try a new movement with your body: shake it, do a belly dance. Whatever it is. Do something you have never done before – even it feels awkward at first!
Regularly set bigger challenges. Sign up for a course you’ve been thinking about for a long time, or don’t book that all-inclusive holiday. Just book the flight and plan your own travel within the country you visit (take a public businstead of a tourist bus).
Work with your fears. Make a list of things you would never do… and just do it. Speak in front of people, strip for your partner, surprise yourself and others. You might not be great at it but you can do it anyway. I challenged myself to singing (chanting) in front of other people and it was awful for me as well as the group, but I did it, and felt great afterwards.
The more often you are brave with small things, the more it will become a habit in your life. You can then move from smaller challenges to bigger ones, until you are working directly on your fears.
Happiness is an inside job,
Amodini.
